30 Days of The Ponds | Day 18: Favorite Sad or Angst Moment

The way she’s acting, they both are, is just magnificently cruel. She hides behind her hair and her make-up and her condescending pout and posture and rush. Just to not be too long with him in one room because she will break. Because she will call for him, selfishly beg him to stay. And she can’t. She can’t be selfish. He’s not hers to have, because she’s impaired, she’s wrong in her mind. In her mind giving him children is the ultimate token of love and devotion, children of their own flesh and blood. She once had a miscarriage. Lost Melody to get her back as grown-up woman, a stranger. It was a miscarriage. She lost her baby. Forever. She once deprived him of a family. And this broke her so much, she thinks of herself as tainted and incapable. She wants to give him physical, tangible proof of her love. A child of their own, and she didn’t once and she can never. So she is not allowed to have him and she let him go and now she has to pretend like she doesn’t care, like it doesn’t rip her to pieces.

So they both hide. He behind harsh words, to cling to his pride and nonchalance, because he pined after her, waited for, chased her so long just to have the doors shut with cruel and definite “get out”. How long can you barge this doors? How long can you long for attention? How long can you wait outside the box, after 2000 years of waiting already? So he armed himself with pride, detachment and sarcasm, because he doesn’t really know how to stop waiting and he is still waiting for her and he will always be waiting for her, there isn’t and won’t be another one. And she rushes to sign the papers, all the time hidden behind the curtain of her hair, to make it quick, before she hesitates, before she gives in to temptation, before she calls for him.

And in the end she breaks and she does call for him and the change is heartbreaking. From that forced, spiteful pout to pleading, vulnerable expression. And that desperate “Rory”, still full of belief she never really let go, that whenever she is, whatever she does she knows that he is always coming for her. Coming back.

#i hate everything

  1. accio-lightsaber reblogged this from inevitableuncertainty
  2. sonicjamasadevilstrap reblogged this from archaeologistsong
  3. brannsnark reblogged this from mattsalex
  4. thelittlebigbluebox reblogged this from mattsalex and added:
    breaks my heart
  5. rocktunesandpoptarts reblogged this from zazzlesiszazzy
  6. zazzlesiszazzy reblogged this from laugh1ngatyou
  7. holy-sharkfarts-batman reblogged this from doctor-221b-who
  8. inevitableuncertainty reblogged this from bowties-and-cheekbones
  9. verbavivensvenerat reblogged this from kingstonique
  10. asphaltforest reblogged this from whatslifewithoutfandoms
  11. brontophobic reblogged this from mattsalex
  12. queenanneelizabeth reblogged this from archaeologistsong
  13. sirovsendvic reblogged this from fourmockingjays
  14. fourmockingjays reblogged this from whatslifewithoutfandoms
  15. kylabrianaa reblogged this from discodancingwiththelightsdownlow
  16. kingstonique reblogged this from mattsalex
  17. lindadejesus reblogged this from discodancingwiththelightsdownlow
  18. christieteexx reblogged this from danpocalypse-please
  19. mattsalex reblogged this from archaeologistsong
  20. theladyevanora reblogged this from archaeologistsong
  21. discodancingwiththelightsdownlow reblogged this from archaeologistsong
  22. archaeologistsong reblogged this from tensbluebox
  23. taarya reblogged this from eleventhdoctor-bowtiesarecool
  24. frazerburnslemons reblogged this from danpocalypse-please
  25. fairyhugs reblogged this from whatslifewithoutfandoms
  26. fairlyismagic reblogged this from danpocalypse-please
  27. danpocalypse-please reblogged this from kilgharrah-everafter
  28. longerwords reblogged this from whatslifewithoutfandoms
  29. kilgharrah-everafter reblogged this from whatslifewithoutfandoms
  30. theunfinishedmelody reblogged this from whatslifewithoutfandoms
  31. chocolizzie reblogged this from whatslifewithoutfandoms